NaNoWriMo and I aren't working out so well

I'm not entirely sure that NaNoWriMo is working out for me the way intended.

NaNoWriMo is about writing a book no matter how crap it is. And in the end, even if you still lose, having put in the effort is supposed to be enough.

But every time I think about NaNoWriMo my mind isn't on the possible outcome. My mind is sort of like this:

Hey, we should do some writing
Yeah sure. Just let me get a moment's peace since I've only just gotten home today.
Then of course, this would be the point when I get a lot of calls and texts from people that I don't get to see nearly as much as I like, because at least one of the following situations is in effect:
1) Live about a thousand miles away or more
2) difference in time zones
3) I no longer have a lunch because I am taking two band classes, thus can't talk to my friends who are only in my band for more than five minutes
4) They are busy the majority of the time, and rarely ever have a chance to call, so I prioritize their contact

So after all that gets settled, the following situation commences:
We should do some writing
It's a bit late now, so I should do my homework first
The way homework works for me is I do it until I have a headache, don't understand anything anymore, or have been working for two hours. So then the situation continues:
You're taking a break, it's the perfect time to write
I've got a headache/been working too long/become to frustrated to focus
Basically all this continues until I'm too tired to comprehend anything or write.

And then every once and a while I get the urge to do something else creative, or something else that will still be beneficial to me in another way. For example, I've had some good ideas for blogs and vlogs, or have had moments where I feel bad that I haven't read any of the book I was going to read for my last free week in October. But I tell myself that I can't do any of that because I should be writing

And we also have the issue of Mondays, where I have jazz band at six, and don't necessarily have a ride there, so I have to stay after. And starting the Tuesday after this next one, I will also have this issue on either Tuesdays or Thursdays because of Winter Guard. And since I no longer have a lunch, I can't put off my history homework until then like I have been doing (because 50 mins is absurdly long for lunch).

Don't get me wrong, I think NaNoWriMo is great for a lot of people, and I wouldn't have written as much as I have (which sadly isn't that much) if it hadn't been for it. But I don't think this is going to work much longer. I'm still going to try for a bit, but I keep feeling so defeated by it all, that I don't think it's likely I'll get past 10,000 words. Which sadly makes me feel like I'm a loser, even though I know that has nothing to do with it.

Basically this whole thing has me feeling rotten, and I don't think it's the best thing for me to be doing at this point in time. Perhaps when I'm in college and I don't have at least 15 mins of homework from each of my eight classes every day, I will be able to try NaNoWriMo again, but for now, I don't think this is going to work.

Anyways, I just needed to get that out. And now I need to work on some English and history homework. The time change has my head all screwed up as well. I should not be this hungry at 5:30.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining about everything that I do. I have a lot of homework because I take interesting and challenging classes that are well worth it. I am in two bands because I love playing tuba, and there wouldn't be one for the lower band if I didn't. I am in jazz band and winter guard because I like band, and want to be a band director, so I need/want to experience these things. I have friends all over the place that I know I will always have a home with. All of these things are wonderful, and I don't take them for granted.

Update: After talking with Kat, I have decided to switch over to the Young Writer's Program, and set a goal of 30,000 words for myself, which puts me behind by about three or four days, but is far more manageable than 50,000 words at this point. Hopefully this will work out better for me stress wise.